This information has been reviewed by:
Dr Amanda Hordern, PhD, & Doreen Akkerman, AM
How soon can I have sex after treatment?
Will I ever feel normal again?
Does it make any difference what position we use?
How long will it be before I get an erection again?
Can I have children, and if so, when?
I'm single. Will anyone ever want to have sex with me once I tell them I have/had cancer?
Can I catch cancer from my partner?
Could sex or masturbation make my cancer worse?
Are there times when intercourse should be avoided?
How long after chemotherapy can we stop using a condom?
This will vary greatly from person to person. It will depend on the treatment you had and how quickly you are healing - both emotionally and physically. Penetrative intercourse may take some time to achieve or may no longer be possible without medical help, especially if you have had major surgery or are continuing treatment. Start slowly with sensual massage and touching. This alone can lead to satisfaction. From there, if you are both ready, a more physical approach can be taken. Listen to yourself and your partner and take your time.
Your idea of what is ‘normal' will broaden or change. You have undergone a life-changing experience. Your body may have changed forever, so new sexual expression may be needed. Over time, with a loving and patient partner, or on your own, you will begin to feel safe and secure with your ‘new normal'.
No, if it's not a problem for either of you. However, if you have breathing difficulties it is important that you are always the person on top. If fatigue and soreness are causing problems, change positions. Use pillows and cushions to support you and take the pressure off sore body parts. See diagrams on pages 18 and 19 of our Sexuality and Cancer booklet for different positions.
This will depend on the cancer and treatment you have had. Men who have had prostate cancer may not be able to have an erection again without medical intervention. Other men may experience erection problems after cancer treatment, but this isn't always because of the surgery or radiotherapy. Worrying about the cancer or feeling depressed can affect your ability to get an erection.
Anxiety about getting and maintaining an erection, or about your ability to satisfy your partner, may also lead to erection problems. Talk to your partner - what may seem like a problem to you, may not be a problem to them.
This will depend on a number of things, such as the type of treatment you have.
Explain your desire to have children to your treatment team before your treatment starts. Speak with your doctor about the best chance of having a baby and when that may be possible.
For women of childbearing age, cancer does not always mean infertility. Your eggs or part of an ovary may be able to be stored in case your ovaries are damaged by treatment. (This is still the subject of research and only available in some treatment centres.) Speak with your doctor about treatment that minimises damage to your fertility. If there are no other problems following your cancer surgery, there is no reason why you cannot become pregnant. Most doctors recommend a waiting period of about two years so that your body adapts and settles down, before trying for a baby. Ultimately, it is your decision, so being well informed will assist you to decide on the best timing for your situation.
Men should speak with their doctor about storing sperm before starting treatment, if they are interested.
It is important to avoid becoming pregnant during chemotherapy. This reduces the possibility of harm to the unborn baby should any of the chemicals be absorbed.
There is no simple answer. It may be useful to consider how safe you feel in a new relationship before you decide to have sex. It may be possible to talk through your fears of rejection early on in the relationship, particularly if you have a significant body image change. It is a sad reality that some potential lovers may reject you because of your cancer treatment. Although you can avoid being rejected by isolating yourself, you might also miss the opportunity to build a happy relationship.
Cancer is not something you can ‘catch'.
Cervical cancer, however, is almost always caused by the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), which is ‘spread' through genital skin-to-skin contact. It is important to realize that HPV infection is very common, so common in fact that it could be considered a normal part of being sexually active.
Most women with genital HPV will not develop cervical cancer. However, in rare cases, HPV can cause cell changes that if left undetected and untreated could lead to cervical cancer.
In order to check for changes to the cells of the cervix all women aged 18 to 69 should have a Pap test every two years.
Those eligible for the cervical cancer vaccine should also speak to their doctor about being vaccinated. Visit www.papscreen.org.au for more information about Pap tests and the cervical cancer vaccine.
No. Masturbation and sex can physically and emotionally benefit those who have experienced cancer.
Yes. Vaginal intercourse is probably best avoided very soon after surgery or radiotherapy to the pelvic area in women. Discuss this with your treating team before you start treatment, so you and your partner have realistic expectations. Also, it's safest either to avoid sex or to be sure to use a condom or some other form of barrier contraception during and immediately after chemotherapy for 48 hours.
Usually, about 48 hours after chemotherapy. It is, however, important to avoid becoming pregnant while having chemotherapy and for some time after your treatment has finished.
