How to talk to kids about cancer

Wrapping your head around a cancer diagnosis is hard, let alone sharing the news with children or loved ones.

It’s common for people affected by cancer to feel overwhelmed by their own anxiety and fear, and to instinctively want to protect children from what’s happening. However, there are many reasons why being open and straightforward with children can be helpful and allow them to process the news in a healthy way.

Healthcare teams play a key role in guiding and supporting these conversations. Below are some helpful tips for your patients when talking to kids about cancer.

Watch our video (2 min)

In the video below, Kate, one of our Counsellors talks through how to approach the conversation and where families can find support.

Tips for supporting conversations about cancer

1. Empower parents and carers as communicators

Parents and carers are best placed to determine how and when to talk to their children.

Acknowledge that it may take a few attempts before they find an approach that suits their family, while encouraging them to use their understanding of their children’s individual personalities and needs to guide them.

2. Encourage honest conversations

Children can feel hurt if they discover they have not been told something that affects their family. They may think they are not important enough to be included in family discussions, or that the topic is too terrible to talk about.

Support caregivers to share information through clear, simple explanations tailored to their children’s age to avoid misunderstandings or anxiety.

3. Promote information coming from a trusted source

Whenever possible, children should be told about a cancer diagnosis by their parents, guardian or a trusted family friend, especially if it’s their own parent (or a close relative or friend) who has cancer.

Assist families in planning how and when to start the conversation, prioritising timeliness, and explore the potential risks of children learning the information indirectly (e.g. from friends or relatives who have been told the news).

4. Emphasise the coping capacity of children

Kids have surprising abilities to respond to life’s challenges. With good support and age-appropriate information, most children can cope with this difficult situation.

Children learn about emotions and how to express them by watching others – especially their parents. Encourage caregivers to role model how to recognise, talk about and manage a healthy range of emotions.

5. Facilitate opportunities for an ongoing conversation

Talking about the cancer gives children the chance to ask questions, but they may need more time and opportunities to process the information.

Encourage open, ongoing dialogue rather than a one-off conversation, and suggest age-appropriate expression strategies. For example, younger children may like to draw a picture, while older children may find it helpful to write down questions or thoughts in a journal.

They may also like to speak to a trusted adult who isn’t their parent, such as a grandparent or a teacher, if they’re worried about burdening a sick parent or taking up a carer’s time.