Page last updated: September 2025
The information on this webpage was adapted from Sex, Intimacy and Cancer - A guide for people with cancer and their partners (2025 edition). This webpage was last updated in September 2025.
Expert content reviewers:
This information is based on research into sex after cancer treatment, and was developed with help from a range of health professionals and people affected by cancer:
- Dr Michael Lowy, Sexual Health Physician, Sydney Men’s Health, NSW
- Gregory Bock, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology Coordinator, Urology Cancer Nurse Coordination Service, Cancer Network WA
- Anita Brown-Major, Occupational Therapist and Director, Thrive Rehab, VIC
- Helena Green, Psychosexual Therapist and Clinical Sexologist, Insync for Life Psychology and Women Centre, WA
- Dr Lisa Mackenzie, Clinical Psychologist, HNE Centre for Gynaecological Cancer, Hunter New England Local Health District, NSW
- Dr Tonia Mezzini, Sexual Health Physician, East Obstetrics and Gynaecology, SA
- Sophie Otto, Prostate Cancer Nurse Consultant – Central Adelaide Local Health Network (CALHN), SA
- Giovanna Raco, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council Victoria
- Kath Schubach, Urology Nurse Practitioner, VIC
- Emily Stevens, Gynaecology Oncology Clinical Nurse Consultant, Southern Adelaide Local Health Network, Flinders Medical Centre, SA
- Anja Vukovic, Clinical Specialist Social Worker, Gynaecological Oncology, Westmead Hospital, NSW
- Alan White, Consumer
- Kathleen Wilkins, Consumer
- Merran Williams, Consumer
It can be difficult to see someone you love have cancer. Even though you don’t have cancer, it still affects you. Take time to look after your own health, and talk to a counsellor or your doctor if you need support.
Contact cancer support
Ways to talk about sex
Some people are content not having sex. If you miss this part of the relationship, you can find ways to have sex again. If your partner has lost interest in sex, you may feel guilty bringing it up.
Never pressure your partner or ask for anything they aren’t comfortable with. But it’s okay to talk about intimacy. For ways to improve communication and start a conversation, see communicating with your partner.
Find out what is safe
You may worry about hurting your partner or putting yourself at risk. Ask what feels okay (or they can show you) or talk to their doctor if you are both unsure what is safe.
Connect through touch
If your partner is not ready for sex, you can still be close in other ways. Touching, holding, hugging and massaging can show love, support and that you still find them attractive. This takes the pressure off both of you.
You can stroke their scars to show that you accept the changes to their body.
Acknowledge your feelings
You may be facing the possibility of losing your partner. If they have recovered, you may be relieved but feel tired, sad or worried still.
You are both going through a difficult time, so allow yourselves time to adjust. If you still find it hard to cope with the changes, it may help to talk to a counsellor.
See our Caring for someone with cancer web page, and listen to our “Cancer Affects the Carer Too” podcast episode.