Page last updated: March 2026
The information on this webpage was adapted from Talking to Kids About Cancer (2026 edition). This webpage was last updated in March 2026.
Expert content reviewers:
- Joanna Fardell, Senior Research Fellow and Deputy Director, The Behavioural Sciences Unit, School of Clinical Medicine, UNSW Medicine, UNSW, NSW
- Dr Diana Adams, Medical Oncologist, Macarthur Cancer Therapy Centre and GenesisCare Campbelltown, NSW
- Emma Bowne, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council SA
- Ken Colbert, Consumer
- Cara Dahl, Team Leader – Online Support, Cancer Hub, and ACA Registered Counsellor, NSW
- Elizabeth Egan, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology, St John of God Subiaco Hospital, WA
- Dr Maria Ftanou, Director, Psychosocial Oncology Program, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC
- Nat Fuss, Senior Clinician, Canteen, SA
- Helena Hobson, Senior Social Worker, Cancer Centre, Fiona Stanley Hospital and South Metropolitan Health Service, WA
- Nadine Macbeth, Social Work Team Leader, Cancer and Chronic Care, Westmead Hospital, NSW
- Damian Ragusa, General Manager – Services and Programs, Camp Quality
- The Team at Redkite
- Alexandra Wright, Consumer
Talking about cancer
Talking with kids about cancer can feel overwhelming. Your first reaction may be to keep the news of the diagnosis from children or to delay telling them. Or you may feel an urgent need to tell them straightaway.
Research shows that being honest and willing to talk helps children cope with the cancer diagnosis of someone close to them.
Why talk to kids about cancer?
When someone is diagnosed with cancer, adults are sometimes hesitant to discuss the situation with children.
Parents and other adults can feel overwhelmed by their own anxiety and fear, and their first reaction may be to protect children from those same uncomfortable emotions.
However, there are many reasons why a straightforward and open discussion can help children. Children who are told about the illness of someone important to them tend to cope better than children who are left to find out through other ways.
You are the expert
As parents and carers, you are the experts on your children and what works for them.
To help you discuss the subject of cancer with children, these pages outline evidence-based, practical strategies that can build upon your existing strengths and knowledge.
Sometimes it may take a few attempts before you find an approach that suits your family. Use your understanding of your children’s individual personalities and needs to guide you.
Secrecy can make things worse
Children are observant. No matter how hard you try to hide a cancer diagnosis, many children will suspect something is wrong. They may notice changes at home, such as your sadness, whispered conversations and voices behind closed doors.
They may also see that their family member looks different or cannot do certain things. These signs may be more obvious to older children and teenagers, but even young children can pick up on change and will work out that a secret exists.
Not knowing the reason for the secret may leave them feeling powerless or left out of family matters.
They may also feel that they have done something that has caused this change in the family, or imagine that the situation is worse than it actually is.
How children hear about a diagnosis is important
Ideally, children should hear about a cancer diagnosis from their parents, guardian or a trusted family friend, particularly if it is their own parent or a close relative or friend who has cancer.
If you tell friends and relatives about cancer in the family, but don’t tell your children, there is a chance your kids will learn about the cancer from someone else or overhear a conversation.
Children often listen to adult conversations even when it seems like they are not paying attention. They can feel hurt if they discover they have not been told something that affects their family.
They may think they are not important enough to be included in family discussions or that the topic is too terrible for you to talk about.
Sharing information shows you trust and value them, which can ease their concerns.
Children may make up their own explanation to fill in the gaps in their understanding. They may feel afraid to ask questions and worry in silence.
Teenagers, and even younger children, may pick up on a few key words and search the internet for answers, which can lead them to unreliable information.
Kids can cope
When a family is affected by cancer, it can be an unsettling time for kids. You may wonder how they will get through it, but with good support and age-appropriate information, most children can cope with this difficult situation.
Kids have surprising abilities to respond to life’s challenges. They learn about emotions and how to express them by watching others – especially their parents.
Parents can role model how to recognise, talk about and manage a range of emotions. For example, you might say: “I’m feeling sad that Grandma is sick and I think I need to go for a walk.”
We can’t stop kids from feeling sad or worried, but if we share our feelings and give them information about what’s happening, we can support them as they experience a range of emotions.
Children need a chance to talk
Talking to your children about cancer gives them the chance to ask questions. Encourage your kids to share their thoughts and feelings, but don’t be surprised if they don’t want to talk when you do.
Younger children may like to draw a picture, while older children may find it helpful to keep a journal to write down questions or thoughts as they come up.
Sometimes, kids, particularly teenagers, may feel guilty about burdening a sick parent with their worries or taking up a carer’s time. Reassure them that their concerns are not a burden.
They may also like to speak to a trusted adult who is not their parent (e.g. a grandparent, aunt or uncle) or perhaps another trusted person in their lives, such as a school teacher, counsellor or coach.
Cancer in different cultures
There are a wide range of beliefs and ideas about cancer.
People may believe that cancer is caused by bad luck, that it is contagious or always fatal. Others may believe that the cancer has been sent to test them.
It is important to respect different ways of coping with a cancer diagnosis. You may be reading this information because you work with children who have been affected by a cancer diagnosis.
Before talking to someone else’s child about cancer, it’s essential that you understand and respect the wishes of the parents.
If a family wants to keep a diagnosis private, organisations such as Cancer Hub may be able to suggest ways for children and other family members to discuss their feelings and concerns in a confidential setting.
Contact cancer support
When you can’t talk about cancer
Some parents don’t want to tell their children about the diagnosis at all and try to keep it secret.
People have their own reasons for not sharing the diagnosis with their children, including cultural beliefs or a previous death of a relative from cancer. Sometimes you may want to wait to find out more about the diagnosis before telling your kids.
If you want to share the diagnosis with your children but your fear of saying or doing the wrong thing is keeping you from having this difficult conversation, it may be helpful to talk with a psychologist or social worker about how to approach the conversation.
Getting support
Many professionals and organisations can help you communicate with your children throughout the cancer experience.
You don’t need to have a specific problem to contact these services. You can ask for support even before sharing the news with your children.
When to seek professional support for your child
Children and teenagers react to a cancer diagnosis in their family in a range of ways. It’s hard to know when professional support may be needed, but you may consider it if your child:
- has a change in their usual behaviour (e.g. aggressive or regressive behaviour) that is ongoing
- is showing less mature ways of coping, such as regularly wetting the bed
- is refusing to go to school – they may have separation anxiety and think they need to stay home to look after their parent
- has a persistent change in eating habits
- shows noticeable concentration challenges (falling grades at school)
- is spending more time online
- is having trouble sleeping
talks about wanting to die or is extremely preoccupied with dying
- acts sad and withdrawn • demonstrates severe risk-taking behaviour, such as self-harm, alcohol or drug use
- is withdrawing from friends.
For children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or other additional needs, you may need to seek professional help sooner.
Teachers and other school staff can be among the first people to notice that something is worrying a young person.
Because they see children every weekday, they may see a change in behaviour, concentration levels, marks, eating habits and socialising with peers.
Health professionals who can help
If you’re concerned about your child, you could see:
- your GP and other specialists – may be able to talk to your children, or help you decide whether to consult a psychologist
- nurses – may be the most regular contact you have with the treatment centre and are a source of information and support
- social workers – often part of the cancer care team, can link you with support services and help with emotional, practical or financial issues
- school counsellors – are trained in child development and can be a useful source of support and ideas
- psychologists and counsellors – can help you with communication and behavioural issues (visit Australian Psychological Society at psychology.org.au and scroll down to “Find a psychologist”)
- psychiatrists – will see children with more serious issues (you will need a referral from a GP).
Contact cancer support