My best friend Luci died in January of cancer. She was 18 and two months. I think about her all the time and poetry is a really good way to try to get across how it really feels for me.
I try really hard to articulate the feelings of being so close to someone who has cancer because im sure many of you would know that when someone you love has cancer you feel like you have it too.
You feel every hit of chemo, you cry every tear, you take every bit of news with the same painful blow. At least we have each other and don't have to go through it alone like some of the kids i saw in the chemo ward with no friends around.
Anyway Luc died in summer and this was written two days before her stroke which was caused by the cancer and killed her in less than a week. So this is the best i can say of how it feels to be right in the middle of the swirling, whirling, head turning chaos of cancer.
She was swinging on the summer breeze
blowing with a laugh
and a cheesy photograph,
the air was sticky and innocence hung
on her bronzed skin and glistening freckled dreams.
Now she's choking on the juice,
and her hope is running loose,
and the clouds are getting heavy
but her family just aren't ready,
and its spreading way too fast
and her bronze skin didn't last,
and her swing has fallen down
and the tear drops hit the ground,
and the dreams can't still be dreamt
and nothing's making sense,
and the clock just wont stop ticking,
and the cancer wont stop spitting,
and she's drowning and I'm drowning
and there's darkness all around me
and life has pulled me free with its hands of mocking glee,
as it whispers in my ear that her life is nothing here,
and it giggles and it cries as i watch her sink and die,
and there's monsoons in my eyes
but i've promised not to cry,
and the waters filled her lungs,
and the tragedy's been sung,
but her life had just begun.