Sexuality and cancer

Cancer treatment and the emotional effects of cancer may affect people with cancer and their partners in different ways.

Some people may withdraw through feelings of being unable to cope with the effects of treatment on themselves or their partner. Others may feel an increased need for sexual and intimate contact for reassurance.

It is important to talk about your feelings with your partner. If you are having trouble continuing with your usual sexual activities, discuss this with your doctor or with a trained counsellor. Your partner may also like to seek support.

If you are without a partner, you may be worried about forming new relationships. Talking about this with a close friend, a family member, a social worker or phoning the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20 may be useful.

After you have had your check-up following surgery you will be able to resume sexual intercourse if you wish. You don't have to wait for the doctor's okay to be affectionate but you might find that it takes time before you feel physically and emotionally well enough for sexual intercourse.

If you have had internal radiotherapy, you may find that your vagina has changed and shortened and it may be dry as well. Talk with your doctor and the clinic nurses about this. Lubricant, which can be bought at chemists or supermarkets, can be helpful when dryness is a problem, or you might try different positions. If you are having external radiotherapy, you are usually able to continue having intercourse as long as you are comfortable and you feel like it. Everyone is different: be guided by your own feelings. You may find that, particularly near the end of treatment, you don't feel like intercourse.

It may be some time until you feel ready for vaginal intercourse and you may need to build up your confidence first. Sharing affection with your partner through kissing, caressing and touching can give you both much pleasure. When you do feel ready again for vaginal intercourse, you may wish to proceed slowly. Talking about your needs together is important to help you feel more confident and to reduce any fears.

Sometimes you might be ready for sexual intercourse and your partner may be anxious about hurting you. If you find that you are having difficulty regaining your sexual relationship, you may need specialist help and advice. You and/or your partner may want to talk with your doctor or nurse about this or to seek advice from them on where you might get help.

Sexuality and cancer booklet

Email this page   Print friendly