2010 Under 18 Children's Writing Outstanding Entry

Ashley Bentley

Happening Right There Before Me

The candle heats up,
Happening right there before me,
It’s beautiful,
She’s beautiful,
It would burn to touch,
She gets burnt too much.

The wax melts away,
Happening right there before me,
It disappears,
Her hair disappears,
Its structure is different,
Her body just isn’t as tolerant

The wick breaks down,
Happening right there before me,
It can’t help it,
She can’t help it,
It doesn’t look the same,
Her energy isn’t as game

How did it come to this??
The chemotherapy,
The radiation,
The medication,
The side effects,
The hospital visits,
The candle; it stops at the end
My mother; She keeps going even when it seems like the end

But that candle has light,
It has warmth,
It symbolises hope,
Making us realise why we light them in the first place

And those candles have light,
Lots of light,
As they flicker in paper bags side by side each other,
They give us warmth inside,
Warmth that gives us hope,
Warmth that reminds my family that we aren’t the only ones,
Us: The people whom cancer has touched,
The candle: It makes us realise the strength of love,
Happening right here with me

Judge's Comment

I tear up every year judging these entries, and this one was just amazing. The author uses subtle repetition, particularly of the little phrase, to hammer home the sad story of the breakdown of a candle, and the loss of a mother. A mature, moving piece, that is as good as anything I have read in four years judging the awards.

Judge: Tony Wilson Author

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