John Clarke (Head Honcho, Tobacco Company: As you may know, cigarettes have been linked to cancer, addiction, emphysema, heart disease and premature death and as a result, we at my tobacco company are introducing a total product recall.
All of our products will be withdrawn from sale, wherever it is in Australia, until we can guarantee that it poses absolutely no threat to your health. Because if there's one thing we care about here, it's your health.
(Throws head back and bursts into laughter.)
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