Usually people fear the things they don't understand. With cancer, we fear the unknown and the uncertainty and ask questions like 'Will I die?' 'Will I be in pain?' 'Will I look awful?' 'Will I see the children grow up?'
Learn about your cancer and its treatment. Find out about any possible side effects and what can be done about them. Many people find that the more they know about their cancer, the more 'in control' they feel. They're more confident making decisions about treatment, money matters, and many other things. And they're better able to cope with myths and misunderstandings about cancer or depressing stories that other people tell them. Remember, what's happened to others will not necessarily happen to you. Only your own doctor can give you detailed information about your illness and what you can expect.
Doctors and other health professionals such as nurses and social workers are usually happy to answer your questions. Writing the questions down before the visit can help you to remember them. It can also help to take someone else along with you.
If you don't understand what the doctor says, ask him or her to explain it in a different way. Doctors often use technical words without realising it.
It's much easier to see a problem clearly when you're talking about it with someone else. Talking often helps people to find new ways of dealing with problems. And it helps to share your feelings and fears rather than bottling them up.
Find someone you feel comfortable with. It might be someone close to you - a family member or friend. It may be your doctor or nurse, or another health professional, support worker or religious adviser.
You might prefer professional counselling from a psychologist or social worker. About half a dozen sessions should help you considerably in dealing with anxiety or stress. Longer term support is available. Your doctor may be able to refer you. Always check that the counsellor is professionally trained.
In a cancer support group, you can talk to others who've been in a similar situation to yours, and find out how they've managed. Many groups also teach relaxation, meditation and problem-solving techniques.
Carers may like to join a carers' support group. The Cancer Helpline can put you in touch with a group near you.
