Living each day

Information currently under review

Pain

Whatever your outlook for recovery, you have to cope with and get through each day. It's not always easy. Some people, on being told they have cancer, decide there is nothing to do but give up and wait for death. They are not the first to feel that way.

People must work through feelings and fears in their own time. One day might bring feelings of confidence, the next, despair. Many people find it helps to set goals for themselves and their family, towards returning to their normal lives. You might set a goal for instance to get to the next outpatient appointment, walk to the shops or watch your children's football match.

Life continues despite your cancer, and each day will bring pleasures and responsibilities quite unrelated to cancer. Try to give these time and attention, rather than letting the illness dominate your thoughts.

‘I cut myself off ... I thought about my own funeral and it made me very sad. It wasn't until weeks later, driving home from hospital, it occurred to me that I wasn't dead yet! I could still drive my car. Why couldn't I return home to barbeque a good steak?'

Staying involved

You need to escape the world of cancer at times. You still need responsibilities, outings and companionship, just as before. Most people find that it helps, where possible, to keep up outside activities such as going to work, taking the kids out, playing cards with friends, or going on trips. You may need to do things that give you a sense of purpose or belonging and things that provide enjoyment.

Staying involved, of course, does not mean overdoing it. Try to recognise your limitations as well as your capabilities. Getting enough rest is extremely important: fatigue can make you feel depressed, and it doesn't help your physical condition.

Two common ways that people react to a diagnosis of cancer is to feel like surrendering or to aim to cram a lifetime's responsibilities into a short space of time.

‘Putting one's house in order' is a concern for many people who learn that they have cancer. This is not the same as giving up. It is a thoughtful and sensible way of ensuring that things are under control for your family. You may need to review insurance policies, update wills or clean out the closets and drawers.

Pain

People can have pain from their cancer and from cancer treatment. Tests and examinations can make you feel uncomfortable. If you are anxious, that may make pain more difficult to bear.

People with cancer also still get all the usual things, like headaches and flu, that have nothing to do with their cancer.

If you have pain, discuss it with your doctor. They should be able to advise you about ways to relieve your pain.

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